I have thoughts....

My host sisters and I. We read, ate, and then amused ourselves with hair ties on my head.

Earlier in the day, I took Maximus out for a walk and stumbled on a beautiful field with a babbling brook. The mountains in the distance and the ominous clouds hanging above us were just incandescent 

I took a nice long walk from the Kilikia Bus Station to the Peace Corps office. I haven't done this before...and it was exhilarating. I'm keeping up with my motto and getting out of my comfort zone everyday!

Arpi is the most adorable. Children are so impressionable. I can't wait to see what my kids turn out to be like.

 Meet the Coaf Girls. We decided to have a pizza party and we had a blast. We're practicing to be empowered women!

I've started to bake and cook again. I love sharing this experience with my host family. And it also gives me the warm and fuzzy feelings inside whenever I cook.

Please meet the Tuesday crew for English Club. Our lesson for the day was combining numbers and body parts= a lesson drawing monsters with 3 heads, 6 arms, 4 legs, and 2 bodies

Spring is finally here, and I think I'm in love.

I've been in Armenia close to 11 months now. I've learned a great deal and I want to share a few of these epiphanies with you. 

1. I've learned to appreciate my family back in the states so much more now, not that I was ungrateful before or anything. They have always been there for me in a way...emphasizing the importance of education and imparting values on me that make it easy for me to travel to and to get along with the local people. Living in Armenia without many of the luxuries of the western world, I find that I'm blessed with the opportunity to take a glimpse  at the world my parents are from. As many of you know, my parents lived though the Vietnam War (one of my dreams is to write a screenplay of our family's compelling story one day). The hardships they've had to endured were always told in the form of stories, but now in a way it's tangible. I find this invaluable. We've all had our low points, but I am happy and excited for the bright future ahead of us. I hope I make them proud and that I can take care of them one day.
2. I've learned to comfort myself. Often times back at home, I would seek comfort from the outside world. I would distract myself with so many things that I would fail to look at myself to understand why I was so restless and unfulfilled. The long walks I go on now are addictive and this is where I do most of my reflections. I can't believe how fast time is flying. Soon my service will be over and I hope that more of the personal growth I've experienced will continue it's organic path. I hope to come back to the United States refreshed, more compassionate, confident, accepting, and ready for the next chapter in life.
3. I learned to admire Armenian women and their tenacious character. I honestly don't know how they are incredibly strong and resilient. I just hope they find happiness everyday. 
4. I've learned to embrace the pain of heartbreak and to let go. For so long, I would fixate on the relationship, wanting to fix what was broken...but alas, it's not a one woman job. It takes two to get the job done. I've learned a great deal about myself during and after this experience. I have a better idea of what I want and what I should keep an eye out for. I am optimistic, however, that things will pan out the way they always do...there's no use in controlling forces and events out of my reach. I'm going to give it my all to just enjoy the moment in front of me.
5. I'm learning that the best relationships and friends are those that despite of the change we still love each other and put forth the energy to keep in touch. I'm eternally grateful for Armenia's IT infrastructure to allow me to keep in touch with friends near and far. 
6. I've learned that there's always room to squeeze another person onto the marshutni.
7. I've learned to be more comfortable in my own skin. I'm starting to understand my self worth and to love myself.
8. I'm practicing to tone my consciousness. It's ridiculously hard, but I'm learning to be aware of my awareness and it's exciting. 

I'll try to be better to document my thoughts and stories.

Love you to the moon and back,

Phi

Fundraising for the National Poetry Contest

https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=13-305-002

My students are participating in this contest! Any help would be infinitely appreciated.

Don't count your days. Make your days count.

12.12.12

What a momentous day. This merits a pinch of sentimentality. This year was capricious in many ways. I lost/broke four cell phones, went to Disneyland for the first time in a long time, dealt with heartbreak, tutored and mentored, worked at Target, volunteered with the Red Cross, joined Toastmasters, moved 2 times, got accepted into and joined the Peace Corps, developed a new-found diffidence in social milieus, learned a whole new language, tackled a 5-hour hand-washing clothes affair, became accustomed to using an outhouse, ameliorated my conceptualization of family and having one in the future, and now I’m living in a snow-covered village. Life is definitely an enormous frequency wave with highs and lows, and I am determined to enjoy the ride as holistically as I can.

Since my last post, I feel more confident with my role here. I feel more integrated with my host family and the community. I feel the love from friends and family back at home and the acceptance from my new Peace Corps and Armenian family. Supported and encouraged, I feel stronger and positive with my work. It’s as if I just found my second wind. I am inspired my fellow colleagues here and far. I’m optimistic about our future and the world that we create consequently. We are taking action by becoming the change we want to see in the world. Life is wonderful. Thinking and sending positive vibrations to everyone.

Machiavellian Musings and then Some

            Before I start, I apologize for the eclectic organization of this post. I waited too long in between posts, and now it’s difficult to discern what issue merits attention.

Is it better to be feared than to be loved as an authority figure?

I am blessed with the gift of time here. I am emancipated from my usual vices and distractions here. I have to time: to sit and think for hours, to be silly for a ridiculous amount of time by myself, to make creative lesson plans, to write letters home via snail mail, to pretend I’m Thoreau at Walden for an extended amount of time gaining perspective, and to appreciate the moment.

                Going back to Machiavelli’s inquiry, I am incessantly in search of that delicate balance of respect and adoration from my students and teachers. I have tendencies to be a big fat pushover…but now is the time to learn to stand up for myself. Alas, that’s why I’m here, for the challenge to grow.

                I’m getting more into the groove of things. My schedule is getting more and more inundated. I have a club everyday of the school week. I’m looking forward to putting on our first movie screening in a few weeks. Ubber ecstatic about this. I’m going to start cooking again because I was able to negotiate with my host family about money allotted for food. I can now buy my own ingredients. I can’t wait to share American culinary delights with my host family. I’m booking my flight to Dubai soon to get away for a few days this winter. I appreciate my family, friends, and amenities back home so much more now. I’m motivated to continue to work arduously for a successful service as a volunteer despite the setbacks.

                I’ve been giving my undergraduate research project on happiness a lot of thought lately for some odd reason. My happiness here has changed drastically. I get excited to know that there’s enough water to have a bucket bath (every 5-7 days). I get excited knowing there’s enough juice in my mp3 player on long rides on the marshutni (most common mode of transportation). My heart melts when I see my host sisters play with my host dad. I’m elated when it is clean bed sheets day. I’m gleeful when I open my inbox and I see love from friends and more so when I have mail from the post office. I’m pretty sure when I go home…I’m going to be the easiest going girl you know. But for now I’m happy to be here and to have this experience.

Mr. Samuel Johnson dropped some knowledge on me today, which I felt was conducive/relevant to my previous ramblings about happiness: “To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition, the end to which all ambition, the end to which every enterprise and labour tends…” How’s that for some PHI-losophy? 

                                                                                                              

Phi OUT!

P.S. my new favorite word is WANDERLUST!

Harry's (his real name) attempt to show us proper stances for fencing

Catching some vitamin D at the wine festival

lake sevan for site-unlock!!

Areni for the wine festival

Talin for the 5K

We're buddies :D

Frolicking in its glory in the meadow at the wine festival

Arpi my little host sister!

Asyco my other baby host sister

As crazy as they drive me nuts, I love them.

My host mom and I try to squeeze a few new words everyday.

our glorious warden meeting spread at Brian's!

this is why she's always sick...everything goes into her mouth.

Out of control with fun.

I also get excited for clean clothes day :)

the metal tube on top was how I showered in the summer...if you look closely, there's a nozzle at the end...where the water exits

Talin's older church with most of the other volunteers who came for the 5K

Armenian teens learning the Armenian traditional dance

Sunflower seeds galore!

On your mark, get set, go!

Gold, silver, bronze winners

the homemade brews at the wine festival

Joy and Me

Carolyn and David

Limbs upon limbs

Sunday morning brunch is one of my most favorite things int he world

                

The Close of Pre-Service Training

Two of my host sisters at our brother-in-law's birthday dinner

The view at Lake Sevan makes me miss the San Diego beaches.

one of the church compounds at Lake Sevan

so captivating...this reminds me of Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea 

this is the famous 800 year old walnut tree.
people are suppose to crawl through it three times to make
their wish come true

Inside the 800 year old wishing tree

Honey baby Joy Jan making pancakes for Sunday Brunch!

My contribution towards this meal was my baking powder
and chocolate peanut butter I brought from home!

My host nephew's invention...kick bowling with water bottles.

This kid is amazing...he took me to the fields filled with  sunflowers and a cool stream.
 If I ever had a kid...it would be this one...
picking flowers and playing royalty with wreaths we make from vines and etc.

Ms. Phi! And yes...I drew these abysmal drawings for action verbs

Celebrating the end of our language assessment and portfolio presentations at the fish restaurant

Happy Birthday Debra. Prime number, prime year!!

I love the abundance of fruits during the summer time.

Learning culinary vocabulary in our language class!

Our astronomy lesson for Model School

Body parts

Hard at work video editing at the news station

Armenia News Anchor PHOEBE CHONGCHUA!!

One of our classes for model school...isn't our class nice and fancy?

Givor hard at work preparing the chicken horovats

Somethings are just universal...the men are responsible for the grilling here in Armenia too.

Local musician at Lake Sevan