Growing Pains

I've been pondering on the idea of growth a lot lately. 

I want to grow and to be the best version of myself continuously.

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When should I stop the organic process and just be? 

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Is the fine line of balance attainable?

I detest complacency, but I also want to practice letting go and trusting in the universe.

Home from my Peace Corps Armenia Service

It has been a little over 2 months since I have officially been back home. To be honest, it was a rough transition. However, I am thankful for my close friends and family members who were able to guide me through these past 2 months. 

I don't this is the fitting forum for me to divulge everything that occurred, as such, I will share my reverse culture shocks, thought processes, and things I have rediscovered that bring me much happiness. 

Reverse-Culture Shocks: 

1. I have a working toilet inside of my house!!!!!
2. I have a washing machine/ dryer in my house!!!!!
3. RUNNING WATER?!?
4. Grocery Stores and all of the food readily available
5. Driving Speeds on the freeway=alarmingly fast
6. College students' obsession to party their lives away on St. Patty's Day in Mission Beach
7. The sun in San Diego rarely fails to make it's beautiful appearance--I can go outside everyday
8. Being able to understand all of the chit-chat around me at all times
9. Smart phones are everywhere!
10. Men and women of all shades of color and shapes are so beautiful

Thoughts:

1. Most people and their lives are dictated by their work and the lifestyles they want to keep
2. Time does fly by here
3. I feel ready for a big girl job and having some consistency back into my life. 
4. I want to spend quality time and energy on me and those that I love
5. Live simplistic
6. Enjoy, be full from the flowers, rives, and rainbows, bellow laughter, take charge in opening my heart and mind

Re-discovering my happiness:

1. long walks in nature
2. cooking a nice meal and drinking a good glass of wine with prime company\
3. wearing shorts in public
4. driving
5. the ocean
6. blowing bubbles with my little cousin
7. the soft and tingling sensation of freshly laundered clothes on the bed
8. green tea lattes
9. art museums
10. making lists 
11. crossing off lists
12. cuddling

I'm also enjoying these sounds as I'm writing this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrO9PTpuSSs

I love Feather's lyrics: http://rapgenius.com/Nujabes-feather-lyrics

My Sour and Rough Patch of Kids

This is my personal attempt at Gretchen Rubin's, Happiness Project. I hereby declare the ten things I'll be focusing on for the next 10 months in Armenia

1. Learn Parlor Card Tricks- I already mastered the bridge! 
2. Solve the Rubik's Cube!
3. Knit something
4. Play the guitar and sing at the same time!
5. Become a Geography buff
6. Build a repertoire of jokes and fun facts
7. Learn chess 
8. Nail the Carmen Electra strip tease video
9. Get that beach body for summer in SD
10. Collect souvenirs for home

Thoughts friends? 

Doing this will hopefully keep me distracted and happy.

One Of My Many Foibles

My friend Carolyn and I went out for a long walk today, which was approximately 9.7 miles according to mapmyrun.com. Anyway, we got into a discussion of character flaws. One of the biggest things I struggle with is standing up for myself. I don't get upset enough when people are rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate to me. I've always thought that this was a good quality, but balance is key. I've been reading some zen Buddhist book and its emphasis is mostly about "letting go," but when is it too much and letting people walk all over you? Gah, it's my constant battle. Shall I dare ask my readers, what are some of your character flaws? Maybe we can support one another on the path to self-actualization and transcendence.

This is just a glimpse of what I'm doing with my time here in a foreign country. Finding myself and improving myself.

Until next time!

Sophia Peligrosa 

I have thoughts....

My host sisters and I. We read, ate, and then amused ourselves with hair ties on my head.

Earlier in the day, I took Maximus out for a walk and stumbled on a beautiful field with a babbling brook. The mountains in the distance and the ominous clouds hanging above us were just incandescent 

I took a nice long walk from the Kilikia Bus Station to the Peace Corps office. I haven't done this before...and it was exhilarating. I'm keeping up with my motto and getting out of my comfort zone everyday!

Arpi is the most adorable. Children are so impressionable. I can't wait to see what my kids turn out to be like.

 Meet the Coaf Girls. We decided to have a pizza party and we had a blast. We're practicing to be empowered women!

I've started to bake and cook again. I love sharing this experience with my host family. And it also gives me the warm and fuzzy feelings inside whenever I cook.

Please meet the Tuesday crew for English Club. Our lesson for the day was combining numbers and body parts= a lesson drawing monsters with 3 heads, 6 arms, 4 legs, and 2 bodies

Spring is finally here, and I think I'm in love.

I've been in Armenia close to 11 months now. I've learned a great deal and I want to share a few of these epiphanies with you. 

1. I've learned to appreciate my family back in the states so much more now, not that I was ungrateful before or anything. They have always been there for me in a way...emphasizing the importance of education and imparting values on me that make it easy for me to travel to and to get along with the local people. Living in Armenia without many of the luxuries of the western world, I find that I'm blessed with the opportunity to take a glimpse  at the world my parents are from. As many of you know, my parents lived though the Vietnam War (one of my dreams is to write a screenplay of our family's compelling story one day). The hardships they've had to endured were always told in the form of stories, but now in a way it's tangible. I find this invaluable. We've all had our low points, but I am happy and excited for the bright future ahead of us. I hope I make them proud and that I can take care of them one day.
2. I've learned to comfort myself. Often times back at home, I would seek comfort from the outside world. I would distract myself with so many things that I would fail to look at myself to understand why I was so restless and unfulfilled. The long walks I go on now are addictive and this is where I do most of my reflections. I can't believe how fast time is flying. Soon my service will be over and I hope that more of the personal growth I've experienced will continue it's organic path. I hope to come back to the United States refreshed, more compassionate, confident, accepting, and ready for the next chapter in life.
3. I learned to admire Armenian women and their tenacious character. I honestly don't know how they are incredibly strong and resilient. I just hope they find happiness everyday. 
4. I've learned to embrace the pain of heartbreak and to let go. For so long, I would fixate on the relationship, wanting to fix what was broken...but alas, it's not a one woman job. It takes two to get the job done. I've learned a great deal about myself during and after this experience. I have a better idea of what I want and what I should keep an eye out for. I am optimistic, however, that things will pan out the way they always do...there's no use in controlling forces and events out of my reach. I'm going to give it my all to just enjoy the moment in front of me.
5. I'm learning that the best relationships and friends are those that despite of the change we still love each other and put forth the energy to keep in touch. I'm eternally grateful for Armenia's IT infrastructure to allow me to keep in touch with friends near and far. 
6. I've learned that there's always room to squeeze another person onto the marshutni.
7. I've learned to be more comfortable in my own skin. I'm starting to understand my self worth and to love myself.
8. I'm practicing to tone my consciousness. It's ridiculously hard, but I'm learning to be aware of my awareness and it's exciting. 

I'll try to be better to document my thoughts and stories.

Love you to the moon and back,

Phi

Fundraising for the National Poetry Contest

https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=13-305-002

My students are participating in this contest! Any help would be infinitely appreciated.

Don't count your days. Make your days count.

12.12.12

What a momentous day. This merits a pinch of sentimentality. This year was capricious in many ways. I lost/broke four cell phones, went to Disneyland for the first time in a long time, dealt with heartbreak, tutored and mentored, worked at Target, volunteered with the Red Cross, joined Toastmasters, moved 2 times, got accepted into and joined the Peace Corps, developed a new-found diffidence in social milieus, learned a whole new language, tackled a 5-hour hand-washing clothes affair, became accustomed to using an outhouse, ameliorated my conceptualization of family and having one in the future, and now I’m living in a snow-covered village. Life is definitely an enormous frequency wave with highs and lows, and I am determined to enjoy the ride as holistically as I can.

Since my last post, I feel more confident with my role here. I feel more integrated with my host family and the community. I feel the love from friends and family back at home and the acceptance from my new Peace Corps and Armenian family. Supported and encouraged, I feel stronger and positive with my work. It’s as if I just found my second wind. I am inspired my fellow colleagues here and far. I’m optimistic about our future and the world that we create consequently. We are taking action by becoming the change we want to see in the world. Life is wonderful. Thinking and sending positive vibrations to everyone.